The Days without Guys - Day 16

Day 16.

I'm horrible, just horrible. 3 days of no blogging? OMG, how can I still live with myself? -_-" so yes, the other Ches' have blogged, and i haven't.. what to make of this kind of person! bring out the pig barrels i say.

Well, i've been building up this load of feeling for over a week now, it's time to let it all out.

Guys. A creation made to drive girls nuts. Why do they tease us so? Do they enjoy making girls mindless in thoughts of them? Or are they truly ignorant about their affects on us?

The subject of my lack of sanity is him. I don't know what to do anymore. One minute, i feel as if, there is a chance, the next, my deflated balloon of confidence is soaring airless in the waves of confusion. Though I understand that my friends are rooting for me, they just don't understand. I don't need their approval to keep trying or at least be waiting for him to turn and actually see me. I'm just confused entirely. Maybe one day I might figure out what his problem is, or maybe I just won't. Alright, I have no idea what I'm saying anymore. SCREW guys. PERIOD.

So peeps. I finally got that piercing I wanted...-_-" nothing too skanky or indecent, just another hole on my ear lobes on each side. lol. I was so freaked out when i went to get it...hince, I'm not yet 18...but i finally found a way to breach the system. lol, my friend's sister works there, so she agreed to do it for me. DUDE! It hurted like a bitch! T____T but I didn't cry lol, i figured I'd look stupid for making a sound, so i just grinded my teeth and dealt with it. lol, I just hope when my mom finds out she won't go completely bananas on me...I liked her reaction to my semi-blond-redhead look years ago...hahaah, not that much hair pulling, just a few screams directed towards herself...=]

yes, last time, I was bitching about the term "a couple", but then my sister's laptop went el-blanco, so I never got around to finishing that wanna be blog of mine. Yes, "a couple", a reference to units, not the relationship kind. What in the world is "a couple"? How do you define "a couple" of this and that. It pisses me off so bad. I get customers that come into my Dad's store, asking "a couple" of this and that. And when I get them not the right amount, they get all shitty in my face. I'm like, wtf am I? a mind-reader? NO SHIT FACE (i am still addressing the customers)! If they wanted 2 of this, then effing say TWO! Or if you wanted 1 instead, say damn ONE! Not "a couple". Why the eff would you waste your breath saying "a couple" when its several letters longer. I swear this place will be the death of me. Everytime I go to work, there will always be something or someone that pisses me off entirely. Just as what happened yesterday! but that story isn't fit for anyone's ears...too many graphically language.. lol

so yes...I will try to regroup my thoughts of him together and maybe one day I will make some sense and wont' sound like a baboon. Currently, I am trying to treat everything as water under the bridge. Let's just hope I don't fall in and drown or if I do, there will be someone to save me. Will you save me? =]

The Days Without Guys - Day 15

In about a week my parents are heading to Vietnam! i envy them. but u know this whole year. my parents have been forcing me to live with others. and not that i hate those people. its just i don't like living with others. i don't like being away from home or having a home in which i can not return to. also I tend to not eat when i live with other people cause i don't like eating at other people house unless i am really CLOSE to them like my temple family and my family in Vietnam. other than that it is a very rare case that i do. -_-.

my uncle is also leaving tomorrow to go back to his home in Houston and i'll miss his company around the house. I have seen a lot of people leaving my side this year and it makes me sad on the inside.

uh back to the subject of guys.
are u the type of che that chase after a guy or wait for them to chase u?
many 'nice guys' as my friend would put it want the girl to approach them first. they are like this is the 21st century! well im glad that u know what century it is but it doesn't mean that all females have broken out of their shells to go make the first move -_- but if u want them to. they go buy a hammer and crack their shells for them. gah. im the type that likes to talk to guys i dont like and dont talk to the one that i do like. and where will that take me? NOWHERE and im back here again. haha =D

The Days Without Guys - Day 14

FRIDAY!!!

So... what shall I talk about? On Friday I went to rent some Chinese TV series again. I'm pretty much going to watch the series .. all of it and maybe get start on my homework. Mmm.... I'm going to sleep early or so I will try because I mean it's Friday.

Let's talk about guys. I was talking to my best friend... We're not like before ever since he asked me to be his girlfriend it was quite awkward afterward. Yeah he was pretty upset when I turn him down. I have feelings for him as a friend but that's it. It was so odd.. cause I see him somewhat like a brother maybe and so when we get beyond that relationship role it becomes um not right. I guess there isn't any sparks between us... None so that we could share a kiss without feeling disgusted. With some people I might not start a relationship with but there's that lust or that passion or that connection where we're able to flirt, um or even more but with some it is just not there. Uh huh. It's all good when he has a girl friend. I feel much better like the focus or part of the weight is off me. He's quite busy lately with work and all so I don't see him online much. Probably rarely. But When's on we chat normally but not like before because there's still that thorn there .

ANYWAY. Let's move on to lighter topic like say FOOD. Hehe. You know that was coming. Me and food it's like ... me and food. But I think I depend on food more. I guess in the relationship between us, I'm the one who puts out more effort to seek, make and, devour. lol. ok. I'm hungry for something... like a Chinese pear... sweet, juicy, watery. and cold..

The Days Without Guys - Day 13

Andddd I'm back once again. ^_^ what to say what to say.

Math test tomorrow... boy isn't that going to be fun -_-" I come to find that lately.. school has been passing by slowly but painfully. whats with that -_-" The only thing that is keeping me going are my lovely friends. ~

My brother is funny .... today he came home with a box of ice cream sandwiches, saying that he bought it for me but I know deep down.. he bought it for his own self -_-" ... haha he asked me to open it so he can have a "bite" ... oh brother.

- - - - hmm

Let me think of anything interesting....

......... Nope. nothing at all -_-"

*sigh* I'm glad tomorrow is Friday... eee.. Soy perezosa. I'm too lazy to do anything.

Blahh.

I want to go shopping... again. hha but I guess I should save up some money if I consider the trip to Greece and Italy. I dunno. I think its too pricey.. but of course.. isn't everything? But I do wonder if there'll be pretty people there. . . Who knows -_-" I rather go to an Asian country.

It's thundering now... and has been raining throughout the day. I'm glad I got my Banh Bao... after all.. Banh Bao's are the best on a rainy day ^_^

The Days Without Guys - Day 12

So I got lots of readings to do but when I tried to read the text, I fall asleep or go into a sleep like stage. haha. But I will try again and again and again and again if I can.


Besides from school that is taken most of the space in my life at the moment. Other things are creeping up as well. LIKE GUYS, which is what this blog is partly about. What about them you ask? Well what can I say but that no one is wooing me lol. Not that just that I feel lonely. Most guys I start to pick an interest in are taken so I don't want to be the third person. One guy I know from school I used to like, but he was too shy to know to make a move or response to one so I let him go. Online people? Come on, all 40+ year old guys friend request me. Like did I say in my profile that I wanted nasty old guys to befriend me? No. so wassup with that? HMPP! Yeah I know some hot sexy atrractive guys but they don't like girls. Sighs. SO what's left? Fakers, wannabes, jerks, psychos and emotional unstable + low selfestem and stalkers that are attached. SAY MATCH.COM? BULLSH!T Dr. Phill needs to shut the crap talking. okay I'm done. Maybe I'm pmsing but that's no excuse.

I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING...

Day 11 powing through..

my lovely 4 days weekend has ended like yesterday but i was too lazy to post. so yeeah. it went by so fast but then again time sure do flys. my family reunion wasn't as bad as I pictured. I found a new love haha. hes so cute and is like in pre-k. aside from the fact that the lito boy kept choking me. it was actually fun playing catch and hide and seek with him. yes! i found amusement in a lito kid. man i feel like a pedo. haha -_-.

i saw my cousin, who has stem cell defect, that i haven't seen for like 10 years! and boy did i miss him. although it was super awkward at first that i didn't even hug him but by the end of this vacation he was the only one i really hugged. I still remember when i was like 6. he took me to taco bell and chuckie cheese! my mom was all worried every time i went out with him. but i didn't. cause to me, he is one of the smartest person out there that i know. he has a lot of heart and thats what i love about him. i think that its true when people say that if someone does a nice deed to you. it will stick with u forever no matter what has changed. I still remember everything he has done for me when i was little and probably the only fondest memories i could remember because he was my first friend in America. its great sitting there seeing how he teaches his kid and i hope they know they have a amazing dad no matter what! he'll always be my big guy in my heart. cause i don't express my feelings too well. i wont say things like that out loud. but i can type it out because its so much easier on me. since i already told u. i have person to person contact issues.

personally i am quite attached to people and when they leave. it hurts. i hate parting. i hate saying goodbyes. cause who knows when u can see them again since life is unexpected. like you can walk out of the house and get like run over. though i hope it doesn't happen to anyone. -_- haha. i miss everyone! i hate being in this dead place. haha. dude too much hate. lets bring on the love? o.o

crush. what good are they? nothing cause they only crushes ur dreams when u know it could never happen. why do we need them? to let us have hope that maybe just maybe prince charming is out there. but who am i kidding. they are extinct -_-. or some place u can never reach. no matter how high u jump. haha. people are lying or just simply naive when they say 'theres more fishes in the sea' pshh. what if those fishes went on a vacation and never come back. what happens then? nothing! we are back to square one. living with our parents for the rest of our lives and raise some strange animals to keep us company. haha.

lets move on . . .

i have a redo chemistry quiz tomorrow morning. i can retake it till i get a perfect grade. and trust me. i NEED that 16 points -_- haha.

The Days Without Guys - Day 11

Okay okay. So I finally got to posting but I'm telling you guys. I'm a very busy person -_-"
. . .. ee.. who am I kidding.. busy at distracting myself more like it -_-"

Sooo once again we are now back in school and the holiday couldn't get any shorter. I have a history quiz tomorrow.. and i have a feeling we're going to have a section quiz like we always do when she tells us to read the section...

- - ' `blahh

Why must we work so hard now when we'll have to work even harder later in life. Competition. The key to improvement. oh what to do what to do when one wishes not to compete in this man eating world.

The Feeling of being used. Anyone ever felt that? Being used and knowing it yet you're letting it continue. Why do people do that? Either it's just too important to let go... or you simply just like the feeling of being used and being good for something. I really don't know.

Relationships drifts apart just like Jack and Rose... ( even though they could of just shared the thing Rose was on... yea just hog everything don't even let the poor boy on -_-") It's a sad thing to see happen and it's even harder when it happens to you. All those years of building one up all broken in a few short moments. When you know it's gone.. it's just gone.. no more to it. The feeling no longer there and yet you're still fighting to hang on. Wouldn't it be better for both parties to just let one another go? So yea. It took years to build up to that point and you feel like it's a waste to let it go. But honestly. Who are you kidding? Using the time you try to hang on rather than using it to heal and find another person is just a bigger waste. - - -

` `` - -

I really don't know anymore.
Back to work folks -_-"

What gots to be done... Will be done.

The Days Without Guys - Day 10

DUDE! che ba mau, post something........

so what happened yesterday? another conference thingy, but this time its a bit dry and i was too awake either like i was not very energetic. yeah so i dont know what to blog about.

guy? they r still guys lol. i got school 2morrow and boy oh boy do i not want to go. save me will you? some hot guy crashing through my window and fly me away into the unknown. LMAO ok back to reality.

what's new? nothing. you know what i ate? i had a tuna sandwhich w. the saladdd it was nice. and i also ate some pineapples and some beef and some bitter melon and some um ... ill get back to you on that-

The Days Without Guys - Day 9

SO! WHAT'S UP!!!

well im excited because of labor day, which gives me an extended weekend! yup that means no school. i did quite a lot the last couple of days. on friday, i went to rent some chinese tv series to watch. im currently watching "the best selling secrets." it is good and i recommend it. um also on friday, che trai cay and i were having a webcam chat till late in the morning. it started out with a nonstop laugh hehe not sure why. we were dancing, she was eating, i was hungry and we chatted and sang. i slept close to 4am and was supposed to wake up late but i woke up at 8:30am to make breakfast for my niece... i think i promised her to not knowing that the night before i would be up. so anyway .. i took a shower - an early one to wake myself up and afterward i felt great! then suddently my sis had the idea to go shopping so i went with her and my niece. we went to the gallery. i was in old navy and got a bunch of fall items. it was fun. here is a picture of the three shoes i got.. nice the red one is my fave. but i like them all! ^^

you know what's interesting? nothing! ahhaa. ok um so saturday night i had a party a mini - food + movie thing with my niece and nephew. yes im good w. children and is close to my niece and nephew. isnt that nice? i know. we ate so much junk food !!! oh and we rewatched home alone 2. it was always fun everytime. yeah my nephew got all of the home alone. afterward we dance around with nice dance music, hoping to burn off the fatness. hehe. before the party, i talked to che xinh xa and she said she would call me.. and she did.. um at 10 something ? and from there we called others. it turned out to be a phone conference + voice conference that i had w. other people and a load of webcam sharing.. it was fun while it lasted until each of each slowly left to sleep. i slept at 4 something and was so tired when i woke up this morning close to noon. yeah. i wonder what will take place tonight? stay tune...

The Days without Guys - Day 8

Women are from venus, and men are from mars.

Is this true folks? and just how far does this truth run? You say women are complicated and hard to understand, but I say men are just lazy bums that wants to take the easy road for everything. And always the clam when it comes to "feelings" and all. yeah well women have been doing everything since the beginning of time, so we don't mind opening our damn mouths to make the first move, but you should at least acknowledge or something. Men, lousy lout.

Yes, so I started this post since early say 9 am this morning, and 9 hours has passed, and I have yet to finish. It's quite because I don't know what I should rant about today. At first I was going to beat the living sense out of the word "men", but I think I've found my muse for the day.

I hope I don't offend him by speaking of him. But I guess, life always takes us where it wants us. And we all try so hard to catch up or to at least qualify to it's standards. Some don't even try. Though I don't know the inside story, but the outside is pretty scary enough. Didn't we all have dreams of growing up to be something? or to be that one kind of person? I seriously thought this kid was going to be the next big thing. But he grew up and just grew apart.

When I heard the news about him going to the hospital, near his death, it really shook me. Here is this silly, charming boy that I've known existed for a long time, lying on the hospital bed--overdosed. It really made me question where I was then. I've just been assuming that because I was vietnamese, and a girl, I would automatically never do such a thing. But i was just thinking too highly of myself. I thought, what if I had made an attempt of keeping in contact with him, as much as an 11 year old could with another. I didn't at that time, but I did regret it later, like I do now. Hearing how he lays there, "fighting" for his life. Though I say it's his parents fault for neglecting him, I know that it was his choice and decision that strapped on that air tube through his nostrils.

Now that I heard he's made it through, and I hope trying to get his "life" back together, it makes me wistful. Knowing that he lived and that I was given another chance to make things right for him. Even if he ends up rejecting this friendship bridge I want to build, at least I can say I've tried. He's changed a lot from then, though I hate to label what he is, its the how he wants poeple to see him as: emo. People make fun of such a person, but do we really know what an emo person is? With just a few scrapes of clothing, we're all deathly placed into clics and stereotypes that do so much harm.

But be as it may, we can't save them all. so I hope I didn't bore anyone with this whole crappy talk of mine. lol, -_- i'm so lazy, i think I'm gonna use this entry as my occasional paper for english class. lol whooooo for procrasinators! =] maybe I'll try my drabble attempts tomorrow on here. okay, no more crazy talk, off to day dream about sushi and chicken now.