I'm not ready. Ready to give myself up to reality. The world that I've built up for myself is tearing itself apart to save myself. Exactly how do I find what I'm not suppose to look for?
Aimlessly looking and searching for something that will never be mine.
To want is to give up yourself.
To need is to open my heart to all.
To have is to tear my mind to keep.
To give is to take away my everything.
To try is preparing myself for tears.
To risk is to accept the world.
To feel is heartaches.
To cry is to be.
To live is nights of tears.
And to love is the death of myself.
I can't find what I'm not looking for.
But I can't not help but look. For the moment in life I can give it all up. I smile for myself, but I cry for the lost of what could be. I'm trying, struggling, drowning in an oblivion of dark mist.
I can't breath.
I can't accept and be myself.
I can't blink without seeing.
I can't see without the hurt.
For what could have been, not what should have been.
I can't lose myself. I have to fight. I have to know I'm there. I am here.
Accept me or move on. I will not fight a lost fight. I am the fight and you will be the fighter.
Let the games begin.
Ciao!
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