The Days Without Guys - Day 68

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It was so fun. I dressed up looking somewhat like Wednesday from the Addams Family and also like very scary later on with blood all over my mouth and my skin looks like someone peel it off and the flesh is still red. Yeah.

Today at school I ate steamed dumplings. Here is a pic. It was very good.



















You know in school today I saw Kfed again and he was like " I see you everywhere.." He's always smiling and such. We were both walking up the stairs to the computer lab. He had to walk right behind me instead of next to me. I was feeling weird having him walking behind me and see me from behind. He was like... real close.

So anyway I'm full because I ate so much when I got home. It was so tiring walking around. Sighs.. By the way I dressed my niece and nephew. My niece she is like a rocker chick/goth/emo/pirate/ she was a lot of things haha. but her clothes were very stylish.. all black with a belt. My nephew looked like an American gangsta and also like those people who goes to rob a bank with the mask, hoodie and such. haha

So yeah I hope you also had a blast like I did.

The Days Without Guys - Day 67

i proudly present to u MR. DING DONG. i love mr. ding dong hes so awesome. haha. as you can see. these are what i do in class when they teacher are lecturing -.-.

The Days Without Guys - Day 66

hehe you know what? it is that time again. time to make you all very hungry.. uh huh. lets get started.
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The Days Without Guys - Day 65

Hello again. What is life but nothing. LOL. I am so weird and crazy sometimes. I need to get my head straight. Really. Okay well, where is everyone? CHE OI CHE OI...

People are quite busy this year. Me too and probably you too? Well I have a poem for you. Again. I know. suck it up. jk ok. random crazyness.

I walk myself onto a platform,
wet and slippery steps I drag myself.
For I am but falling nor standing,
I am hanging on the mercy of broken water.
My fingers cling onto to every object,
space and time. I hope I will not fall down
or that I will hurt myself. But the fear of
pain got to me as I am hurting and falling
inside my mind. The pain is never ending like
pulling each and every piece of your hair from
your head. One at a time, the tingly pain seeks into
your bone, and it is now biting on your flesh. You feel
the breath taking teeth grin, again and again.
I try to be on that platform for years to give my
speech and get over it. But for years I am stuck but
on that road the leads to my goal.

No name for the poem yet. What do you suggest? Maybe the platform or the stairs. or road to the top. or slippery rain. ok ok. again copyright poem 2007 don't steal it. create your poem. your teacher cannot say if it is bad or good. since poetry is personal expression and self explanation. tell him or her that. you can be as cheesy and corny and it is a poem as long as YOU think that it is. YUP!

The Days Without Guys - Day 64

So I have so much coming up in early November, knowing this I should start on it early before I get overwhelmed by it. I have a bad feeling about this somehow. October went by so fast. I wonder how November will be like. I hope it's better somehow. I don't know why I keep putting things aside and not do it. I know it is because I don't want to do it. But school work, I pay for the class, and is school or job of any important to me? Probably not, then why am I in school? Because I was put into school. And also I wouldnt know what else to do really or with my time as I feel complete, totally, so unmotivate to make a move in this life, world, universe. I feel that my existence is merely a dot, start that happens to be there with no real meaning or anything. Buddhism would say to meditate and or not to think about it because it serves me no use. Still I must think about nonsense because although I am aware, I am still condition and stuck with the notion of dual and the self still exists in me, because for I am me and that I cannot deny but really there is no me or I because no self exists. For I cannot see me but what exists is the action of it all. Okay sorry for the confusion, just let me blah it all out of my mind. Maybe then will get my head up straight. You know in the old old days when there are scholars still are but like those people were like the rich folks who have nothing to do and so they have time to waste to think. The average person is invested in trying to survive and so no time to wonder and think. How does poverty and being fortunate affect how one think? Take me for instant, I'm not filthy rich but I'm not starving. My parents don't make me have to get out of school to work. So I don't understand what it is like to be really poor and without food. Since I am not suffering severly physically and probably mentally as well that I have time and is sitting here doing and thinking about things that is not benefiting. I am complaning about my life and whatnot. But like people are out there probably dying and in worse condition. I think I need to stop being in the safe comfort zone and get out to experience pain and suffering really...

The Days Without Guys - Day 63

nothing happened lately. its pretty boring and the weather keeps on changing. freezing cold in the morning then burning hot in the afternoon. gosh cant the sky make up its mind. haha. I have a lot of work to do this weekend and next week, but don't really know where to start *sigh* never been so lost in my life in school. why must i be lost now. when school is almost over for me -_-.

The Days Without Guys - Day 62

"Today’s video of the day is an excerpt from “Girl Like Me,” where Kiri Davis recreated the classic Clark doll study. "Taken from http://www.marclamonthill.com/mlhblog/

Watch this. It is like... It makes me want to write a whole essay on it. But I'll leave it at that. What are your thoughts?

The Days Without Guys - Day 61

So wassup people? I'm in a good mood, sort of today. You know once Thanksgiving break hits, I will be on cloud .. not 9 but like 1000 or millions. Seriously I'm in desperate need of a break. For the last weeks or so I'm been working hard but the end result wasn't great. Still I did what I had to do and I can only hope for the best. You need to all really really really really really really (OKAY I'LL STOP) wish me good luck because I need it. I am praying so hard for this semester that I will get anything lower than a C as a final grade. If I haven't already told you. I need atleast a C in every class in order for it to count for my major. But for the university, it's a C-. Either way it is bad for my GPA, which is why I'm retaking some classes that I took in my early years to get a higher great. This world is demanding that college education is enough that people have to work harder and harder just to get into the system and or want one wants to better themselves off in life. It's sick I tell you. If we were still hunting and gathering, BULLSHIT we don't need to do crap but eat to survive. Sighs. Anyway. Nope I'm not getting angry, I'm just overly happy. Haha Jk. ok well.

I have't finished watching "Full House" yet. I know I know. It's like get it over already but if you think about it. I come home at like around 2PM. I eat and I do my hw till 8 and beyond. Not counting the time I need to squeeze in for dinner, small bathroom breaks, lol, and showers. So yeah not much free time. I am a member of Netflix and boy you know how that works. I need to watch the DVD that comes in the mail and get it back asap or else I'm not getting much of my money each month. I'm planning to cancel it though. I got freeloads of Asian series and movies online hehe. Not really, no time for that too. Well so yeah basically no time for anything. I also watch "Survivor" and "Top Model" and that's an hour away. WOW. I have been doing time management a lot lately.

If there is a God, he needs to help me. I feel so clueless and in need of some guidance in my screw up mess up life that I have. (It is not that bad, I'm not exaggerating, people always do when they pray or complain to people). So yeah where is the light. Buddhism said that there is no God, no divine to help you but yourself so I guess I'm pleadding to myself to not slack off anymore and get working. WORK IT!! WORK IT! no Miss J not the run way. I need to work my brain, fry it and sell it to world. Well sell it to America and the so call American people. Sighs.

The Days Without Guys - Day 60

time to take a look at the scenery taken by me [oh yeah copyrighted haha] and try to forget all the troubles due to family, friends, schooling, or even hunger.

^^ its lotus flower =D

^^ haha its a white man. o.O

the bench i sat on all alone watching people pass haha

i rode on this. and lets say. i didn't really feel safe -_- haha

try paddling a swan little boat across this. its really tiring man. i gave up and sat while my tiny, skinny, illed aunt paddle and i sat and ate grapes haha.

the wheel on the bus goes round and round

The Days Without Guys - Day 59

I got some a poem for you. Sighs you me I feel so blah everytime .. It's like wth.. *yawn* so yea nothing nothing nothing.

1 Million Pieces

The sharp piece of glass dug through my skin,
Bleeding everywhere on gentle sheets of infatuation.
The thunder passed through my eyes like private piece
Of property that was not mine. My heart squeezed tight.
My breath cut short. My face changed pigment as it
Made ways through the cracks of ever lasting hope. I
Never felt such throbbing emotions running through my veins.

The two loving birds cuddled on steamy air, while wet
Branches trembled from afar and green leaves tumbled
To the ground. If only autumn had not come so early
Taking away the summer heat of yore. I was there to
Witness the magical transformation taken that split second.

My heart busted into many pieces, the candy in my eye
Belonged to someone else. I watched leaves fractured under
My feet as I glided through a forest of deceitful dreams.
The branches broken and the leaves changed colors.
When will summer returned, warm and soaking of heat.


P.S. this poem is copyrighted so don't steal it for your hw assigment. Haha be creative and make your own. :D