March 27, 2008

The Days Without Guys - Day 204

I paused my marathon reading to post this blog.

To speculate about a race out there, that seem to think they're above all. Back when I didn't know better, I thought there were only 3 kinds of people out there, the white, the colored, and my kind. I never once fathomed the prejudice that circulates the air so thickly constant. But, now, I can see just how niave I was. To believe that we can truly all live in the same society. How cynical that sounds. But how can any of us ever amount to much when dated back thousands of years ago, the white men deemed us the inferiors? And, being the fool we all are, instead of fighting off the prejudice of one man about all, we followed his lead and fought against each other for the man that will betray us without a sweat. Unbelievably, we've been duped for so long, no one has much left in them to fight. And those that have just been exposed to this tragic, fight so diligently, that no one would notice how, in the end, it is the white man that controls the final verdict and decreed our useless arms flaying is just a little kid's tantrum for not being the center of the attention.

Why do we allow the white man to label us and rule us? Yes, I understand that though there are activists out there that are fighting for what's its worth, but instead of fighting their own battles, why do we not band together and fight the evil with a greater force than mere sticks and pebbles? We were all told that the others were the ones that didn't earned our respect, but how can we believe this, coming from a man that doesn't see further than the whites of our eyes? We're like little plastic soldiers, strategically placed on spots that the man valued we deserved to roam, and every time we desire to cross the barrier that set us apart from him, he denies us with the words of "That is the place your kind deserves", because we'll never be anything in his eyes other than his tools of power.

And to no vial, our violent struggle to free our legs from the platform goes unheard but just viewed as childish tantrums that can be summarized as lack of morality because we've been stripped of all our dignity by force. And I applaud the white man for his genius work. For instead of minding our tactics of speaking, he appeals to the emotions that we feel. He tells us that we're better than others. That we can rise, we just need to keep the others at bay, and he will help us. He will provide the tool to raise us. But in order for us to be granted his benevolence help, we have to commit our dedication to appeasing his needs and desires. To offer someone help with no credit to back him up, no one's the wiser than the man for we were too grateful to doubt any of his words, and so we throw ourselves to keep the man happy for showing us the opportunity that we worked hard for but wasn't born to reach out and grab what was tied too high above our heads.

My rants may seem as plain words that make no sense, but just think, how ironic it is that my words will go unheard today. Because we're constantly being repressed into a box that we were stuffed into without our consent. But, more the fool is us when we throw our freedom out the door when we bargained our souls to the devil by ignoring the signs of a world filled with hatred of anything that is fair and light. So why can't everyone open their eyes and see the huge mistake by digging their own graves when their lack of "morality" is just giving the white man another push to obstruct our peace? Maybe we love being blind, so that'll lessen our responsibilities so we can spend our time bawling like babies over the lack of toys we're not able to gain by being an under-achiever. The possibilities are plenty, but then again, being true to our nature, who will even care to look deep into any corner for the cure to the inequality of life?

Ah. This post today is so weird. I feel like I have much more to say, but my metaphorical mind is dead for the night. So back to my marathon, that is, until the crawfish is done brewing. LOL.



Ciao!
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March 23, 2008

The Days Without Guys - Day 200

Ah. hahha, by accident, I've come across today, as being the 200 days! wow. soon, it would be a total year, in 165 days.

Besides that, Easter is today too right? Or so everyone keeps saying. A 3-day weekend, and I haven't finished 1 zinc of hw. Why is that? Because, I've hit rock bottom, and also getting a big head. I'm slacking because school is almost ending, and so much "fun" stuff is happening soon, I don't have time to ponder over hw, but want to do other things, like sit around all day.

The major thing that is preoccupying my thoughts is scholarships. I was just notified that I won one, for $10,000. Hooray! lol, now I just gotta keep above a 2.5 to keep that money for the next few years. I hope I keep winning more scholarships, it'll show that hard work does pay off.

-sign- I hate having to do my work at the last minute, but it seems I'll have to stay up late tonight and finish my essay. Ew.

Funny how though my days without guys aren't so terrible, what with other prospect, money, to preoccupy my thoughts. Well, occasionally that is. Because I'm still upset over the fact that I'm thinking WAY too much about the fact that I'm still single. Ey.

My parents are coming home soon, in so many days. Kind of looking forward to it, except for the yelling part. Those days are dreadful, but they gotta come anyway, it'll help build my character. lol.

And yes, school is tomorrow and everything is going to go down the drain.

It's annoying how everyone, in their own ways, is getting what they deserve. Or, what I'm trying to say is, they have at least some kind of pleasure out there. And, I want what they have. Having to be so exhaust in trying to find my own happiness, I find that very spiteful.

But be as it may, everyone keeps telling me it'll get better once I'm in college. Well, if it doesn't by then, there will definitely hell to pay!

Don't ever believe that your senior year in highschool will ever be easy and a thrill ride. There is a ride, but it's one damn bumpy ride filled with rocks and dark tunnels. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!


Ciao!
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March 12, 2008

The Days Without Guys - Day 189

Wow, its been nearly 200 days since the Ches have been without guys in their lifes. That is, its been that way for me, not sure about the other very attractive Ches though. Heck, they could all be married and with 8 kids for all I know! But besides the point.

My sisters are all happy. Living in bliss. I'm the only one lonely and pathetically dead inside. My days are filled with plain plainness. O_o Yeah. That means no prospect or even the slightest sniff of a man anywhere within 100 yards of me. Ah the bitterness. But what can I do? Nothing, because everyone seems to think that when the destiny comes, it'll come, and I can't rush it.

The other day I went to my second time of my first time at a rodeo. I had a real blast, the cow boys were hot and the air stunky. haaha, also saw Natasha Bedingfield. But I only stayed for half of her show, since it was already late and I was tired, so me and my friends went home.

PAUSE! OMG, my writing is so nasty! OMG, what the fudge!!!! O_O it doesn't even make sense anymore, well, it never did, but I seriously can't say anything!

(SIGH)

So, I re-dyed my hair. It's now apricot tea. Kind of like my old auburn hair, buta little more orange red. Not sure how i feel about it. But everyone says they like my old black hair more. I'm like O_O yea.

I keep saying I'm going to start wearing eye linear, but the thought of having to risk poking my eye out and then having to wipe it...ARGH. so no. hahaha, I will eventually. Also, my circle contacts finally came. My prom dress still hasn't though. Both transaction has not gone the way I wanted it to, but all this bitchin'? eh.

What more, it's my spring break, but I have no plans or anything. That sucks. So I'll just sit here and wait till my prince comes and sweeps me off my feet. Anyone know if there's anything playing good these days in the theater?

Ciao!
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