The Days Without Guys - Day 109

WOW

In a few days, it'll be a brand new year already. And Xmas is just around the corner. And like the other many Che's, I feel in the spirit for something too. Not sure what it is though. Probably something phenomenal, like having an open mind and being laid back, not so uptight and "pissy".

Ever since my last blog, I've had many revelations. Like the fact that I could careless about what others think of me. And also that I need to stop spending money and focus on the good things in life. Like school, and HOW to make money.

And also folks, my parents are going out of the country once again soon. and this time, for only 2 months, but that's long enough already. Oh the joy. But there won't be any secret mission to Philly, rather, just late night parties or even a trip to Vegas...maybe.

More good news on the way.

My sister is pregnant. WONDERFUL! In a few more months, I'll have my first mixed white niece or nephew. Hey, maybe that'll be where my mission will take place, in Chicago! Wouldn't that be exciting.

Women are evil. Plain and simple. But men on the other hand, are idiots. Pure dumb heads. Forget Jackfruit folks, he's old history. Rather, he wasn't history, but just a bypass. That kind of distraction isn't really worth my time, so I'm moving on. Not sure to what else though. You gotta remember, I'm still a very shy, innocent girl. Can't expect me to just grab any guy and have my way with him. At least, not just any guy, I gotta at least know his name first.

The other day, after finals, me and a bunch of my friends went over to a friend's house to "party". Wasn't much of a party, rather, I wasted $20 bucks on food. Blah, now I'm so damn broke, it's not even funny. I owe myself $30 bucks. That's how sad it is. And then, the night before, we went to this park where they had this trail set up filled with lights. I finally went after hearing about it for so long. And well, wasn't what I really expected, but it was an okay trip. Seeeing as how I went with my sister and her friends, I didn't feel so left out like going with my friend's friends.

Big big change in my life. I'm no longer a redhead. T_____T My hair is black. OMG, it freaked the shit out of me last night after my mom finished dying it. It was HORRIBLE. but thank god it's not totally jet black, or I'd have a panic attack. But wait wait, I won't stay asian for long. Cause I am not letting anyone in school see this head of mine. Before going back to school, I'm gonna dye it auburn once again. LOL. Had no idea why i wanted to go asian again. My mom was like "Now you look like a true vietnamese girl" lol. She couldn't be any happier. But sorry mom, your happiness isn't gonna last for long. Besides, I look awful with this black hair. And its so hard to get use to. And just think, I went like this for nearly 14 years of my life, now it's like looking at a stranger in the mirror. You guys probably won't even recognize me.

Now I have to start readying myself to take college courses through the internet. Oh the horror. Having to push yourself to read books and do homework. -__-" But at least I'll get more class periods off to study and do and get things done.

So lets end this with a holiday spirit why don't we. What are you guys getting me for the xmas then? ^_^ hahaha One of my friend got me this candy lollipop, in the shape of a penis -___-" GEE GOLLY. And hey, new years is around the bend too. Be happy everyone, cause I sure as hell am trying here.

Ciao!

The Days Without Guys - Day 101

Gosh what a relieve it is to be free and out of school. I'm on my winter break till January 22! That is so awesome. Now that I have so much free time. I still need to manage it so that I am doing all that I wanted to do before going back to school without much regrets. ACTUALLY!!! now that I thought about it, I have this teacher exam thingy, the um what is it, uh .. let me think praxis yes hahha take me so long to think of the name. It is on Jan 12! so thats a bummer. If i pass, yay! if not sucks. I need to study for it, I cannot believe it. gzz.. there go a flaw in my BREAK!

You know what, Che Xinh Xa has a point. What if one day, it is not days without guys but with guys. Then what will be then? Will it ruins the theme of this blog? Should we change name or make a new one? LOl. NO. It will not be that major. Maybe Che Xinh Xa has love in the air... hmn.. if so, good luck. Follow your heart and don't let it get away.

Everytime school is over, I feel good. But within that is a bit of bitterness. After so long you kind of get use to what you're doing and now that you don't do it anymore. Well...... you miss it. I miss everything really. It's weird. I even miss KFed. I told him that I hope to not see you anymore in this class again! Meaning ofcourse we better pass the class. But then I really am will never see him again. NEVER SAY NEVER but who knows. Out of all my five classes, I know for sure that I have an A+ in one of them cause the professor posted grades up online as the semester progress. So no surprises there. I like that class, it was on asian religion and the professor is awesome. I guess I like him because we share a common interest in philosophical stuff or so I feel. Anyway.

I need to save up my money for something, but I don't know yet. I want to reward myself. You should too.

The Days Without Guys - Day 100

lets welcome the first snow day of the year! well it wouldn't necessarily be a 'snow' day since all we had on the ground was ice, but pshh ill be happy for anything right now. haha. so yesterday i kept opening the door at around 10 and such to see if it was raining, because the weather people were like it needs to rain first for the water to form into ice overnight. i got exicted cause it rained! then became sad again when it stopped. my mom told me asked me what kind of student i am to wish that there was no school, and i replied "the good kind" haha.

I feel empty nowdays, nothing motivate me anymore, but i know that the only person that can truely motivate one self is themself. however, lately i'm at lost. i need to find myself before finals! haha "MARCOOOOOO!"

i was watching "all about eve" again this weekend, and yes i did finish the 20 hours of it when i should of been like studying -_-! but anyways i realize that love is so foolish, but i already knew that. haha. i mean the dude basically said, "i don't care if you were a prostitute, or you want to chase after him but all i need if you to stay with me." i thought that line was all mighty noble and everything but iuno. he deserve better, but love is blind. too blind that even the blindest person can see through it better. haha. i would never know because the closest i have gotten to that is by watching dramas, but hey! its better than nothing. haha

this is kind of stupid, but why am i awake to blog when there no SCHOOL? -_-! i should be like smart and go back to sleep, but then if i sleep i would waste this snow day! or ice day! what am i kidding. i`m going back to sleep. -_-! haha

The Days Without Guys - Day 99

today, we had a motivational speaker to come and speak to us and let's say that i haven't laughed like that for such a long time. he was really an awesome speaker. we got to play simon said. and i lost like within the first 30 seconds of it! i'm such a bad player but i was really good at the crab game since i played it a thousand times at camp ^___^. what really got me was when he kept pouring out of this cup, i could of swear he turned dumped the whole thing over like 3 times and still water came out of it each time. i wonder how that cup works.

that was after 3 hours of the practice act. it was so time killing. i couldn't get the reading part done. and like i randomly selected answers on the science part cause i was running out of time. -_-. during the testing you could hear people stomach just growling like crazy and its hard to concentrate when you trying to stop your own stomach from doing the same thing as well! -_-!

but yeah i think i got my group member in troubles since her dad got lost getting to my house. but dude i just moved here, its not like i know any of the names of the street he is telling me. rawr. i feel like a bad person now

*sigh* i still have 100 page left to read on my 'all quiet on the western front' book for the test on friday in english. oh yeah! so looking forward to that, actually i am since the book is quite easy to read and interesting in a way.

i don't really know anymore. just hope i can survive these last 2 week of the semester.

day 99. reminds me of the 999 doa hong only its 99 instead of 999 but 99 is better than nothing. get it? haha

The Days Without Guys - Day 98

Hello...

I have been quite busy with school and laziness to post. I have done a lot of it in the past with no feelings, just as a job to post daily. I should post when I feel it, I think its more meaningful. Anyway, school is coming to an end for me. I feel kind of relief a bit but not much...

I don't like what Tom Cruise has done to Katie Holmes, she is looking older, scarier, and just eh.. did you see her new hair cut? What is with that? I didn't like Victoria Beckham's do, I don't like it on her either. I guess I miss the old young, youngful happy smiling Katie, not Kate. Tom is looking shorter and younger, Katie is older, taller and thin. They are scary looking.

Mmm... sighs I feel blah. I finished my paper for class. I just need to do now is STUDY, lots for 5 finals. *yawn* I think I have to go take a shower...

Yeah I wish you can join me, NOT. I want to take a bath actually.. but like..uh

The Days Without Guys - Day 97

The night is barely any late, but yet, I am so tired. So I'll blog until my eyes can't open any wider than the chinkiness of it will allow.

Resuming many thoughts from the last blog, what do I have to update?

Jackfruit has made no move on me. Which, in a way, is okay with me, but then...seriously, WTF? But then again, I have no idea WTF i'm doing either. Do I like him? or Do I not? I'm getting these confused signals from myself. Am I only interested for the heck of it, or am I really interested? So conflicting. But besides my confused mind, he failed to show me that I'm any different any the other girls. So what does that make of this situation?

The semester is nearing, and so much scholarships that I have to do. Many are almost due, but I have yet to do them.

Okay, I'm just too sleepy to finish and my thoughts are in a jumble. I'll blog again tomorrow, I promise ^_^ lol night kids.

Ciao!

The Days Without Guys - Day 92

How did things get to be this way? One minute, we're all very hyper about the idea of this blog being in our lives, but now, it's like an old broken toy that no one wants anymore. The poor thing.

The year of 2007 is coming to an end soon now, and I have to say, it's been a great year. Can't explain why I'm thinking about it right now though.

I actually started this post a few days back, would have finished it, but was interrupted, so here I am, 4 days later, finishing this up.

These days have been cold and wet. Every time I look outside, the skyy never falters a better shade of gray and the clouds ambiguously tease with better weather. This is a Sunday, and tomorrow is Monday. I have school tomorrow. I don't want to go back though, because if I do, the time between graduating and the present will become smaller. It truly scares me. Which is ironic, when all my highschool days have been filled with anticipation of graduation day. So what's the hype about when we're going to put everything familiar and safe behind us to embark on a strange new path.

For the past years, I've been readying myself for "college" physically, but mentally? I'm a total wreck. One minute i can barely hold in my patient for that day to come any sooner, the next i'm panicking because the have little to no time left to enjoy being irresponsible like any other teen.

*sigh* that aside, let me fill you in on as much as I can over the past months that I've been absent from this blog.

Much to everybody's suspicious of me passing my days with guys, I have rather, been very guyless. There was the occasional flirt, but as flirts go, they never last long. You can only get hyped periodically. Let's call this high, Jackfruit, thanks for the wonderful Che Ba Mau for naming this creature, whom by the way, is the total opposite of me, in many ways...well, physically that is. I've been passing my days with this to look forward to. The occasional speech stopper. On a level, its fun to play around, but to intensify it? i think we're both very reluctant to do anything else. I've been asking myself whether or not I feel anything positive, but to tell the truth, I think this is just another passing for me. Until I can find something else to distract myself, Jackfruit is all that I have. All of the crazy talk that we've had for so long, and might I comment, that this has been going on since last year, when I devised he be the tease of the year for me to make fun of, because god knows we would most likely be voted the "never would have imagined" couple.

The first real stirring of trouble happened on Valentine's day. When during the only class we had together, I asked him if I could have "kiss". Without hesitation, he leaned over and realistically wanted to lay one on me, but I broke at the last minute and moved away, joking that what I wanted was the candy instead. From then on, it was chaos. LOL. Not really...But on one of those crazy days, when I was a little bent backward, I thought I wanted to see where things might have led to, but no. He was busy getting his hair done, and I was not going to wait around for him the entire time. So on and off, we were like this. And this, is just the beginning. So I hope you guys can stay tune for when I can get off my butt to blog about the incidents we have. =]

Tis' not the season of xmas yet, so we'll back it up to the just recently passed holiday. How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Mine was crappy, as usual. But that night, at 3 am, I was standing in the cold of 40degrees, along with 500 people, at the electronic store FRY's, waiting for the store opening at 5. They didn't open until 5:30, due to system troubles, which really reeked my nerves. But in the end, I got my money's with my $300 laptop. Not exactly the one I wanted, but realistically, I don't have money, so until I can get out and make money on my own, I have no big desire to spend my parents hard-earn money. During the wait in line from outside the store to inside the store, I concluded that, FOBBY girls, are really annoying. They think, just because they know good enough english, they can prance around acting all high and mighty. Well guess what, SCREW YOU!!! Seriously, don't they know they're a total joke to society? Though how hard it is that I preach of society's injustice system, it does have it's perks. DEATH to FOBBY GIRLS!

Hmm...what there is to look forward to, is Senior Skip Day, coming up soon. Since I'll be planning it cause everyone else is a punk, I've decided to rename it as "(my real name)'s Skip Day". ^_^ I hope the crowd doesn't go too wild. jaykay. We're going paintball fighting. =] Wasn't my idea, but my planning. lol, I hope there will be no serious damage, seeing as how the liability waiver suggested so. O___o 30 kids from (17-18years old), chasing each other in the cold with guns? oh the HORROR.

I spent over 20 minutes today, giving my Dad a run down on how to watch online series on the internet. hahaha, it almost killed me. Soon, after serious consolation of "how-to", I'll bring my laptop to light and show my parents how to work the thing, so they can watch their movies on the TV in the livingroom, rather than gather around my desk and bed. -___-", it's been a cold weekend, having to sleep rather than on the lower bunk, I had to forgo for the top bunk with just a pillow and 1 blanket. He's at home right now, watching a korean drama...that is 75 episodes longggg!!! T___T When will the madness end.

So yes, I don't have much left to say...But if I do, I will be back.

Here's a little something that made my day awhile ago, hope it will for you too! Link


Ciao!

The Days Without Guys - Day 71

Today's topic is about food. Well, it's always about food for me. I will show some food that I'm lusting for at this moment. Lol I know who lust for food. And you think I'm like starving or something. I'm just an eater. I rather eat and have lots of it, not restricting than have a good body figure. Yeah. By the way, credit the images to Google.. I was searching on google. so credit to the owner of the sites that came up while I search. :) Thanks for the great images.

Soju (I'm sort of craving for Korean food and beverages)



























Kimpap




Jajangmyun (Korean Black bean paste noodle)






















All pasta stuff






















Also casseroles

The Days Without Guys - Day 70

Guess what? I finished Full House. Yeah I got through it. I was kind of pissed of and annoyed while watching it but I managed. It took up to episode 16 for Rain to finally admit his love. Before that he was still in denied and fighting with Song Hye Gyo. I thought the series didn't need to be that long. It could of cut some of the nonesense scenes, seriously it was so frustrating to watch the two main characters fight over the same things and acted the same like it's episode 1. Also the flashback and all was also a waste of time. Overall I don't have a good feeling about this series, maybe at the begining but after watching it I felt bitter. The ending was like one those obvious one and that will happen. I didn't end strong nor did I feel the two main characters have any chemistry together. There was no one moment where there was passion or any chemistry. I have to say that 90% of the series are fighting and argument that went out of hand and overdone. I dislike the two main character so much when I finished the series. I was cheering for Min Hyk, the second lead guy. I wish he didn't spend so much time waiting for SHG's character. Another thing is that the two so called best friends of SHG, I don't like them at all.. I must say I prefer Coffee Prince over Full House. Full House gave me a bad taste of Rain and Song Hye Gyo. I know I dislike their character but it's the overal act and facial, just looking at them. I don't think I can watch another series with them. Sighs. Well I'm glad I'm done with that. I'm looking forward to seeing an ancient korean series next or hopefully those HK series, come out. The one Super Cop I think, not sure. Yeah.

Well the last month I posted so much mostly nonsese. I won't be posting as much anymore unless I really have something to say. The days without guys, day 70 it is a very bad day for me. I feel really lonely and I feel kind of sad. I hope I can gain back my energy and so on to live through Sunday.

The Days Without Guys - Day 69

whatever happened to a happy family?
whatever happened to all the dreams?
whatever happened to all the promises?
whatever happened to everything that i had hoped for?
i really just don't understand why people
chose to act in a way in which that know
its wrongs but continuous doing so and
in the end blame others for their mistakes
i guess its human instinct. -_-.

--- YOU DISAPPOINT ME.


It makes me sad seeing how many people you
make cry and live in constant state of depression.
seeing a little girl sherking noise to save someone
she loves from being attacked is something that
shouldn't occur in one childhood.

sometimes crying about it will solve the problems
sometimes it could make things worse,
build your hatred toward that person who you
know you shouldn't hate cause after all you
would nothing without them.
sometimes you just want to get it all out but
the best anyone could say is "im sorry"
because they don't know how it feels, if they
never been in that situation but really i
don't want to hear words of sympathy. . .

i really don't want to deal with it anymore
i hate the feeling of being suppressed
by someone else's actions. not being able
to know what will happen next.
no plan. no sight. nothing.

once again. your are disappointment to us all.
i'm tired of crying. tired of hearing your lame issues.
tired of it all.

The Days Without Guys - Day 68

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It was so fun. I dressed up looking somewhat like Wednesday from the Addams Family and also like very scary later on with blood all over my mouth and my skin looks like someone peel it off and the flesh is still red. Yeah.

Today at school I ate steamed dumplings. Here is a pic. It was very good.



















You know in school today I saw Kfed again and he was like " I see you everywhere.." He's always smiling and such. We were both walking up the stairs to the computer lab. He had to walk right behind me instead of next to me. I was feeling weird having him walking behind me and see me from behind. He was like... real close.

So anyway I'm full because I ate so much when I got home. It was so tiring walking around. Sighs.. By the way I dressed my niece and nephew. My niece she is like a rocker chick/goth/emo/pirate/ she was a lot of things haha. but her clothes were very stylish.. all black with a belt. My nephew looked like an American gangsta and also like those people who goes to rob a bank with the mask, hoodie and such. haha

So yeah I hope you also had a blast like I did.

The Days Without Guys - Day 67

i proudly present to u MR. DING DONG. i love mr. ding dong hes so awesome. haha. as you can see. these are what i do in class when they teacher are lecturing -.-.

The Days Without Guys - Day 66

hehe you know what? it is that time again. time to make you all very hungry.. uh huh. lets get started.
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The Days Without Guys - Day 65

Hello again. What is life but nothing. LOL. I am so weird and crazy sometimes. I need to get my head straight. Really. Okay well, where is everyone? CHE OI CHE OI...

People are quite busy this year. Me too and probably you too? Well I have a poem for you. Again. I know. suck it up. jk ok. random crazyness.

I walk myself onto a platform,
wet and slippery steps I drag myself.
For I am but falling nor standing,
I am hanging on the mercy of broken water.
My fingers cling onto to every object,
space and time. I hope I will not fall down
or that I will hurt myself. But the fear of
pain got to me as I am hurting and falling
inside my mind. The pain is never ending like
pulling each and every piece of your hair from
your head. One at a time, the tingly pain seeks into
your bone, and it is now biting on your flesh. You feel
the breath taking teeth grin, again and again.
I try to be on that platform for years to give my
speech and get over it. But for years I am stuck but
on that road the leads to my goal.

No name for the poem yet. What do you suggest? Maybe the platform or the stairs. or road to the top. or slippery rain. ok ok. again copyright poem 2007 don't steal it. create your poem. your teacher cannot say if it is bad or good. since poetry is personal expression and self explanation. tell him or her that. you can be as cheesy and corny and it is a poem as long as YOU think that it is. YUP!

The Days Without Guys - Day 64

So I have so much coming up in early November, knowing this I should start on it early before I get overwhelmed by it. I have a bad feeling about this somehow. October went by so fast. I wonder how November will be like. I hope it's better somehow. I don't know why I keep putting things aside and not do it. I know it is because I don't want to do it. But school work, I pay for the class, and is school or job of any important to me? Probably not, then why am I in school? Because I was put into school. And also I wouldnt know what else to do really or with my time as I feel complete, totally, so unmotivate to make a move in this life, world, universe. I feel that my existence is merely a dot, start that happens to be there with no real meaning or anything. Buddhism would say to meditate and or not to think about it because it serves me no use. Still I must think about nonsense because although I am aware, I am still condition and stuck with the notion of dual and the self still exists in me, because for I am me and that I cannot deny but really there is no me or I because no self exists. For I cannot see me but what exists is the action of it all. Okay sorry for the confusion, just let me blah it all out of my mind. Maybe then will get my head up straight. You know in the old old days when there are scholars still are but like those people were like the rich folks who have nothing to do and so they have time to waste to think. The average person is invested in trying to survive and so no time to wonder and think. How does poverty and being fortunate affect how one think? Take me for instant, I'm not filthy rich but I'm not starving. My parents don't make me have to get out of school to work. So I don't understand what it is like to be really poor and without food. Since I am not suffering severly physically and probably mentally as well that I have time and is sitting here doing and thinking about things that is not benefiting. I am complaning about my life and whatnot. But like people are out there probably dying and in worse condition. I think I need to stop being in the safe comfort zone and get out to experience pain and suffering really...

The Days Without Guys - Day 63

nothing happened lately. its pretty boring and the weather keeps on changing. freezing cold in the morning then burning hot in the afternoon. gosh cant the sky make up its mind. haha. I have a lot of work to do this weekend and next week, but don't really know where to start *sigh* never been so lost in my life in school. why must i be lost now. when school is almost over for me -_-.

The Days Without Guys - Day 62

"Today’s video of the day is an excerpt from “Girl Like Me,” where Kiri Davis recreated the classic Clark doll study. "Taken from http://www.marclamonthill.com/mlhblog/

Watch this. It is like... It makes me want to write a whole essay on it. But I'll leave it at that. What are your thoughts?

The Days Without Guys - Day 61

So wassup people? I'm in a good mood, sort of today. You know once Thanksgiving break hits, I will be on cloud .. not 9 but like 1000 or millions. Seriously I'm in desperate need of a break. For the last weeks or so I'm been working hard but the end result wasn't great. Still I did what I had to do and I can only hope for the best. You need to all really really really really really really (OKAY I'LL STOP) wish me good luck because I need it. I am praying so hard for this semester that I will get anything lower than a C as a final grade. If I haven't already told you. I need atleast a C in every class in order for it to count for my major. But for the university, it's a C-. Either way it is bad for my GPA, which is why I'm retaking some classes that I took in my early years to get a higher great. This world is demanding that college education is enough that people have to work harder and harder just to get into the system and or want one wants to better themselves off in life. It's sick I tell you. If we were still hunting and gathering, BULLSHIT we don't need to do crap but eat to survive. Sighs. Anyway. Nope I'm not getting angry, I'm just overly happy. Haha Jk. ok well.

I have't finished watching "Full House" yet. I know I know. It's like get it over already but if you think about it. I come home at like around 2PM. I eat and I do my hw till 8 and beyond. Not counting the time I need to squeeze in for dinner, small bathroom breaks, lol, and showers. So yeah not much free time. I am a member of Netflix and boy you know how that works. I need to watch the DVD that comes in the mail and get it back asap or else I'm not getting much of my money each month. I'm planning to cancel it though. I got freeloads of Asian series and movies online hehe. Not really, no time for that too. Well so yeah basically no time for anything. I also watch "Survivor" and "Top Model" and that's an hour away. WOW. I have been doing time management a lot lately.

If there is a God, he needs to help me. I feel so clueless and in need of some guidance in my screw up mess up life that I have. (It is not that bad, I'm not exaggerating, people always do when they pray or complain to people). So yeah where is the light. Buddhism said that there is no God, no divine to help you but yourself so I guess I'm pleadding to myself to not slack off anymore and get working. WORK IT!! WORK IT! no Miss J not the run way. I need to work my brain, fry it and sell it to world. Well sell it to America and the so call American people. Sighs.

The Days Without Guys - Day 60

time to take a look at the scenery taken by me [oh yeah copyrighted haha] and try to forget all the troubles due to family, friends, schooling, or even hunger.

^^ its lotus flower =D

^^ haha its a white man. o.O

the bench i sat on all alone watching people pass haha

i rode on this. and lets say. i didn't really feel safe -_- haha

try paddling a swan little boat across this. its really tiring man. i gave up and sat while my tiny, skinny, illed aunt paddle and i sat and ate grapes haha.

the wheel on the bus goes round and round