So I was sitting here trying to find the "new post" button (and guess what? It's like right there on the screen! I haven't been on Blogger in a while, so I'm not very familiar with the settings) to blog something after reading Juli's (sorry I forgot your Che` name lol) posts. Wow. I think she is the most poetic one out of all of us. And I'm on AIM with two other ches (I don't know their che name either. -_-), but I'm not paying attention to the convo because they're talking about their own stuff. Korean drama madness!
School still sucks. Everyday I find myself counting down to the time where I get to go home and eat and have some leisure time. My dad's in Vietnam right now, so I've been slacking off a bit...a lot. He's coming back on Tuesday! I have a presentation for Religion on Thursday...and I'm not looking forward to that at all. None. Zip. Nada. I suck at presentations.
So the TVB channel is on and a Chinese song is playing, and I looked over and there is this hot looking girl singing. I'm not a lesbian or anything, but she is very pretty...What? It's...It's Linda Chu...I think. Let me google her name. She was in Virtues of Harmony. OHH. Linda Chung.
Yeah. The make up she has on made her look different, in a good way. She looks hot, dude. O_O
Okay, I gave up on the convo with D & S. I'm like completely lost. I've been addicted to Starbucks, dude! That's not good. I thirst for it everyday. I even drink it at 10PM while I'm on the computer chatting with my bff. Crazy? Yes. I couldn't sleep that night until like...friggin 1AM. I wasn't late for class, though. So that's...good, I guess.
So, blah blah blah. Life sucks, school sucks, I still need to register!! Holy cow...I still owe money so I don'tk now if they will let me register or not...UGHH. Can someone lend me $800. hahha.
November 14, 2008
October 28, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Year 1 Day 62
Things not only crumble when they fall, they leave a bad image in all of our heads. Little do we know, the image is falling within itself, leaving behind a dark void.
I'm not ready. Ready to give myself up to reality. The world that I've built up for myself is tearing itself apart to save myself. Exactly how do I find what I'm not suppose to look for?
Aimlessly looking and searching for something that will never be mine.
To want is to give up yourself.
To need is to open my heart to all.
To have is to tear my mind to keep.
To give is to take away my everything.
To try is preparing myself for tears.
To risk is to accept the world.
To feel is heartaches.
To cry is to be.
To live is nights of tears.
And to love is the death of myself.
I can't find what I'm not looking for.
But I can't not help but look. For the moment in life I can give it all up. I smile for myself, but I cry for the lost of what could be. I'm trying, struggling, drowning in an oblivion of dark mist.
I can't breath.
I can't accept and be myself.
I can't blink without seeing.
I can't see without the hurt.
For what could have been, not what should have been.
I can't lose myself. I have to fight. I have to know I'm there. I am here.
Accept me or move on. I will not fight a lost fight. I am the fight and you will be the fighter.
Let the games begin.
Ciao!
I'm not ready. Ready to give myself up to reality. The world that I've built up for myself is tearing itself apart to save myself. Exactly how do I find what I'm not suppose to look for?
Aimlessly looking and searching for something that will never be mine.
To want is to give up yourself.
To need is to open my heart to all.
To have is to tear my mind to keep.
To give is to take away my everything.
To try is preparing myself for tears.
To risk is to accept the world.
To feel is heartaches.
To cry is to be.
To live is nights of tears.
And to love is the death of myself.
I can't find what I'm not looking for.
But I can't not help but look. For the moment in life I can give it all up. I smile for myself, but I cry for the lost of what could be. I'm trying, struggling, drowning in an oblivion of dark mist.
I can't breath.
I can't accept and be myself.
I can't blink without seeing.
I can't see without the hurt.
For what could have been, not what should have been.
I can't lose myself. I have to fight. I have to know I'm there. I am here.
Accept me or move on. I will not fight a lost fight. I am the fight and you will be the fighter.
Let the games begin.
Ciao!
October 21, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Year 1 Day 55
KABOOM! look folks, or my lovely Che's, or anyone that even bother to read...-awkward silence-, the point being, I'm blogging! -__-" you'd think since my days have been "guyless", I'd blog every darn day, but see, my anti-depressant is, obviously not blogging, I guess most of you can guess, MOVIE MADNESS!
Okay, I was about to go into details about something that happened months ago, but no, that's in the past, LET IT GO!
I guess being a college student now means I have more room to be "lazy" lol, and i'm sad to say, I take more than full advantage of it, hell, i literally RAPE lazy. Days involve me planning how to get through school and home to do nothing.
PAUSE.
LONGER PAUSE.
The song "It's hard to say goodbye" is stuck in my head. ehh, I have nothing else to say about the song, just that it's so friggin' GOOD!!
How have I been these days? Total slacker. I keep telling myself I will sit down and write my research paper, but have I done so? Nope. That crap aside, I also I want to point out what a leecher I am. For the past month, I've been going to my friend's house and eating there. Or when there are materials at home to cook, I don't even bother, but would just call up my friend and say "I'm coming over k". -___- Horrible.
Lemons will not get you lemonade. It'll get you an eye stinger. When I thought life would be lighter to carry on my shoulders, the pressure builds until I'm down on my knees. Pathetic and sad as it is, this happens to be all my fault. But I hate that I have thoughts of blame. Of putting the blame on others shoulders, yes, the environment that I'm in needs me to be my own motivator, but I can't get in those shoes when all around me are easy and blurry paths. I can just stumble through any and it'll take me to a place, not of my own, but a place of its own. How do I push myself? The future that I see for myself holds nothing but bright lights, expect for the dark patches I see around sharp angles. But that's too far to think into, move on!
The days go by so quickly. I feel like I'm loosing touch with everything around me. My grip on life is slipping away before my eyes.
Funny how when I see what I want, I go after it. But it's never my way that the river flows. I'm constantly struggling through the current to the other end. It's been so long, can anyone imagine me living my days "WITH" a guy? lol. Somehow, I feel like I'm jinxing myself by speaking this aloud. ALWAYSS! One minute I feel as if all is going well, but then the next, oh hell no! =P must I say again, life sucks. Will you hear from me again soon? We can only wistfully hope so.
Ciao!
Okay, I was about to go into details about something that happened months ago, but no, that's in the past, LET IT GO!
I guess being a college student now means I have more room to be "lazy" lol, and i'm sad to say, I take more than full advantage of it, hell, i literally RAPE lazy. Days involve me planning how to get through school and home to do nothing.
PAUSE.
LONGER PAUSE.
The song "It's hard to say goodbye" is stuck in my head. ehh, I have nothing else to say about the song, just that it's so friggin' GOOD!!
How have I been these days? Total slacker. I keep telling myself I will sit down and write my research paper, but have I done so? Nope. That crap aside, I also I want to point out what a leecher I am. For the past month, I've been going to my friend's house and eating there. Or when there are materials at home to cook, I don't even bother, but would just call up my friend and say "I'm coming over k". -___- Horrible.
Lemons will not get you lemonade. It'll get you an eye stinger. When I thought life would be lighter to carry on my shoulders, the pressure builds until I'm down on my knees. Pathetic and sad as it is, this happens to be all my fault. But I hate that I have thoughts of blame. Of putting the blame on others shoulders, yes, the environment that I'm in needs me to be my own motivator, but I can't get in those shoes when all around me are easy and blurry paths. I can just stumble through any and it'll take me to a place, not of my own, but a place of its own. How do I push myself? The future that I see for myself holds nothing but bright lights, expect for the dark patches I see around sharp angles. But that's too far to think into, move on!
The days go by so quickly. I feel like I'm loosing touch with everything around me. My grip on life is slipping away before my eyes.
Funny how when I see what I want, I go after it. But it's never my way that the river flows. I'm constantly struggling through the current to the other end. It's been so long, can anyone imagine me living my days "WITH" a guy? lol. Somehow, I feel like I'm jinxing myself by speaking this aloud. ALWAYSS! One minute I feel as if all is going well, but then the next, oh hell no! =P must I say again, life sucks. Will you hear from me again soon? We can only wistfully hope so.
Ciao!
August 27, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Year 1 Day 2
Oh, wow. It's been a year already?
So, here I am complaining about school. I'm a college freshman! And I really really really really miss my high school days, now that I'm out of there. It's been 3 days so far, and today was the best one. First day sucked because I was totally new there, and didn't know anyone or anything, and I got confused a lot when it comes to the classrooms. In my one of my classes there is this really cute guy. He's Australian. Heck, he probably doesn't even know who the heo I am. That's usually the case for me when it comes to crushes/cute guys. Sad? Totally!!! Anyway, I barely noticed him today. I heard him on Monday introducing himself (we all had to do it), but didn't care or even bother to look. But today I did! haha. So yeah...crap, I forgot his name. haha. I don't think I even heard it, or maybe I did but I forgot since I'm very forgetful.
Books are freaking expensive. And always buy it like 2 weeks before you start class (especially if you buy it from Amazon). Believe me, I learned that the hard way. =( Ugh.
I think one of my prof. is gay. Seriously. haha.
The other day I had a dream that my older sister did this match making thing for her friend and me. I was so horrified in my dream when I found out that I have to date him, and eventually get marry to him. LOL! He is 28 or 29 years old, and he isn't very goodlooking. I was HORRIFIED. hahah! I think I ran away in my dream, and that's when I woke up. It's more like a nightmare, eh??
August 25, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Day 365
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY CHES!!!! =]
How ironic is it that the day that I check this blog, it's been exactly one year and 5 minutes since I've started this blog with you guys. Amazing is it not? Though we weren't able to blog every day, the fact that we've all contributed to this blog without the force of blackmail, besides the sad part of us being part of this blog because well, we have no guys. HA!
Funny how since last year, I hope that every day since I've accepted that I'm stuck in a time of no companionship, would bring me one step closer to my closure. But hence that is not the case, I will strive on.
Lots have been going on since my last post, but the brunt of it is, if life doesn't get any better, I don't know whats the point of continuing. Now those may sound like suicidal words, but trust me, they're not. I'm still a virgin, so there's no way I'm dying so soon. Or any time after that, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn into a sex addict.
My life is at a new point where I'm all I have. No one is going to be there for me, so I have to stop believing that I can depend on anyone. All the let downs I've had, should've struck me down long ago. But I hope since I'm still standing, it means I'm still doing fine. Please all, give me the support that I ever ask of you. The least I ask for is your friendship.
30 minutes later.
Okay i went off, but now i'm back.
Guys are total douche bags. So I went to this dumb dumb get together the other day. I was having a crappy day, total pmsing, not bothering a single soul, so why are they playing with fire huh? They knew exactly what they were getting into, so why are they acting surprised when they get burned? This is who I am, why do I have to act like some idiot and pretend like everyone is just the awesomest person on earth and kiss their ass? Who the fuck do they think they are? Those that do know me say that it's because they don't know me, so it doesn't matter what they think. And I totally understand that, which is why I don't even bother to explain or defend myself, to anyone. Let them think what they want. Call me mean, angry, emo, a bitch, I could careless. So why am I telling you this? It isn't to make a point that I'm an innocent victim and they're the bad doers, no, I just want you to understand that everyone is different, so don't expect everyone to swing to your music. I am not altering myself nor ask anyone to fix themselves to be with me in any way. Yeah, that's too much to ask for, for you to do nothing. My gawd, what an awful person I must be.
Again, lots to say, but my distress is not your pain. So I'll make this short now. But I hope to hear from everyone else.
Ciao!
How ironic is it that the day that I check this blog, it's been exactly one year and 5 minutes since I've started this blog with you guys. Amazing is it not? Though we weren't able to blog every day, the fact that we've all contributed to this blog without the force of blackmail, besides the sad part of us being part of this blog because well, we have no guys. HA!
Funny how since last year, I hope that every day since I've accepted that I'm stuck in a time of no companionship, would bring me one step closer to my closure. But hence that is not the case, I will strive on.
Lots have been going on since my last post, but the brunt of it is, if life doesn't get any better, I don't know whats the point of continuing. Now those may sound like suicidal words, but trust me, they're not. I'm still a virgin, so there's no way I'm dying so soon. Or any time after that, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to turn into a sex addict.
My life is at a new point where I'm all I have. No one is going to be there for me, so I have to stop believing that I can depend on anyone. All the let downs I've had, should've struck me down long ago. But I hope since I'm still standing, it means I'm still doing fine. Please all, give me the support that I ever ask of you. The least I ask for is your friendship.
30 minutes later.
Okay i went off, but now i'm back.
Guys are total douche bags. So I went to this dumb dumb get together the other day. I was having a crappy day, total pmsing, not bothering a single soul, so why are they playing with fire huh? They knew exactly what they were getting into, so why are they acting surprised when they get burned? This is who I am, why do I have to act like some idiot and pretend like everyone is just the awesomest person on earth and kiss their ass? Who the fuck do they think they are? Those that do know me say that it's because they don't know me, so it doesn't matter what they think. And I totally understand that, which is why I don't even bother to explain or defend myself, to anyone. Let them think what they want. Call me mean, angry, emo, a bitch, I could careless. So why am I telling you this? It isn't to make a point that I'm an innocent victim and they're the bad doers, no, I just want you to understand that everyone is different, so don't expect everyone to swing to your music. I am not altering myself nor ask anyone to fix themselves to be with me in any way. Yeah, that's too much to ask for, for you to do nothing. My gawd, what an awful person I must be.
Again, lots to say, but my distress is not your pain. So I'll make this short now. But I hope to hear from everyone else.
Ciao!
August 24, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Day 364
It's time to go back to the drawing board but this time I really don't know what to draw. Everything that I thought, isn't what it appears to be. All of the talks about fairy tale love stories and happily ever after may seem to great but it's hard to make it come out that way. The rocky roads that everyone bike must face to overcome the obstacles of the trail is really no different from a person journey in life.
Just like my xanga banner say, "i must be a fool," and I really don't doubt it. haha
Just like my xanga banner say, "i must be a fool," and I really don't doubt it. haha
July 28, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Day 337
Is it me or is this blog utterly dead? hahah. Well, here comes Maddie to the rescue! Keeping this blog alive, and plus I have nothing else to do. =_=
Stop harassing me for those T-shirt pics! haha. I don't have any. :P
So, does anyone know how to install wireless internet on laptops? I REALLY want to use my laptop with internet on it, and without having to plug in wires and other crap to it. That's not wireless, isn't it? =__=
Oh, and there's this kid at church who always stares at me. How creepy.
I am soo craving this right now. Cajun pasta from Bennigan's.
*Drools*
Graduation practice...*sighs* I miss high school now...
I must agree with Che Trai Cay's comment. Asia 4 is whack. haha. But I think that some of the songs they remix (such as Pretty Woman, Bad Boys Blue Medley) are such great songs!! Of course the original singers of those songs are definitely way better. =]
I start school on August 25th. What about y'all?
July 17, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Day 326
I'm going to spend this Christmas in Canada!! ^___^
I went to the mall today and didn't buy anything even though my sister insists that she'll buy me something. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING! I'd rather save money to pay for school. hehe.
Anyway, my new Gucci shades. Chyeahh.
I went to the mall today and didn't buy anything even though my sister insists that she'll buy me something. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING! I'd rather save money to pay for school. hehe.
Anyway, my new Gucci shades. Chyeahh.
Have you heard that song I Wanna Heart Your Heartbeat by Bad Boys Blue? It's this super old song by a band formed in Germany in the 1980s. The song itself is in English, of course. I've been listening to it. It's awesome even though some people might think it's gay or whatever. (The Vietnamese boy band Asia 4 also sang a medley of their songs called Bad Boy Blue Medley in one of the Asia shows.) But hey, its better than rap! Rap is just a bunch of gibberish. That's music? HAH! <_<>
I ♥ old music.
July 15, 2008
some pictures from Block Island. i stayed there for a couple of days, but it was really nice.
i was afraid he was gonna spit on me. <_<;
that's me! =Dmy friend and i were trying to body surf, but somehow my other friend got a picture of me all alone in the corner of the beach
one of the beaches on the island, it's tricky getting down there, you go down a flight of steep stairs and climb down a steep rocky path, but the waves are rough, so surfing is fun, and there are not many people who goes there
i was afraid he was gonna spit on me. <_<;
that's me! =Dmy friend and i were trying to body surf, but somehow my other friend got a picture of me all alone in the corner of the beach
one of the beaches on the island, it's tricky getting down there, you go down a flight of steep stairs and climb down a steep rocky path, but the waves are rough, so surfing is fun, and there are not many people who goes there
July 14, 2008
The Days Without Guys - Day 323
Soo, I've heard that one of us aren't really "without a guy?" haha. traitor!!
just kidding.
I'm "stalking" my cousin's blog now, his Yahoo360. I guess that's like the Myspace or Facebook in Vietnam? Dude, he is so freaking emo. =___=
AHH!! Laptop battery almost out of battery again! Did I not charge it already??!??! Aish...
So, yesterday or something, Banh Xeo and I briefly talked about a future get together for all of us. hehe. It sounds so exciting, and we must make it happen sometimes, ladies!!!! And of course if you haven't heard I am again, "deprived of my own race" at school. Yes, I AM THE ONLY ASIAN again at my school. How sad. *sniffs*
But...that's just for the first year, though. hehe. Because I'm going to transfer to another school where there will be more Asian people. *YAY* Well, the majority is white people, though.
"I need to know I need to know. Tell me baby girl 'cause I need to know. If its true don't leave me all alone out here. Wondering if you're ever going to take me there..."
haha. I LOve that song. It has this....catchy tune to it. ^___^
*Keeping the blog alive*
♥ Che Thai
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