Waiting for you today

Sunday, October 17, 2010


I told myself to not worry too much that I will see you today. Even as late as 8pm. Time went by and I felt like a fool. Waiting and waiting for something that was not mine. I didn't want to bother you so I didn't text you as much. But I was constantly checking my phone to see if you would text me about your whereabouts, but there was nothing... I looked to you for an answer and some comforting words that maybe, just maybe we could see each other soon. But there was nothing. I had to comfort myself and tried to occupy my mind with other things so that time would fly by fast enough.

I sat there dressed and ready. But like a bride at the altar, my groom never came. The weekend was slowly coming to an end. You knew how much I wanted to see you. You knew we weren't going to meet Saturday. You could have saved today. Why didn't you? Why didn't you wake me up before it all started to crumble? Maybe... I could see you for a second before everything went downhill. I cried and I cried. Why me? Why today? Why the weekends?

From hopeful to hopeless. I'm was angry and irritated, but still I was holding to a slim chance. Until you tell me that you don't know. When did my knight in shining armor becomes useless? Why isn't he fighting for us? I guess we should of ended last week. I should of stayed strong and let you go. However, I gave us a chance. And now I feel like a fool. I wish you were honest with me. Why did you lie to me? Even the smallest thing. You knew. You knew. I am so sad and broken.

When I wrote my goodbye letter, tears were running down my eyes like a gushing water fall that never ends. I felt every drop on my face. Even after it all, I was still hoping that you would show up in front of my house and convinced me to leave with you. You could have done so much. You could of called me. You knew I wanted to see your face and hear your voice. But you were so cruel. You didn't do any of that! Every time that I have faith in you, you disappoint me. I just hope you would hold true to your words and stand up for what you believe in. And follow your heart!

You know that I will never be the same. That I will cry myself to sleep every night. And when I think of you I will burst out crying as well. Sadness is what I am feeling. No, I won't hate you. Don't think you can take the short cut out of this.