The Days Without Guys - Year 2 Day 47

You let the tears fall. You didn't try to control them. You were immune to them.

Maybe life should be so simple. Then you would be happy. Yes, only you would be happy.

We can't bring back what we use to have. Because it has all been an illusion. A simple deceiving.

Happiness is only short lived if we don't fight for what we want. For the smiles upon our hearts.

I can't go on by myself. But if you're not there with me, I'll bear the burden of humanity and dread on alone. And somewhere on that cold road, someone will reach out to my cold hand. A hand that you've never felt, a hand that once could have caressed you.

I still can't understand my hesitation with you. The fear of asking for more. Of wanting what I can't have. Seeking what should have been mine. Yet even as I conquer myself, even if I am hurt fighting for you, this light of mine, has gone out. I'm not fighting for what I want anymore. Just the truth.

A final understanding. A revelation. The pieces of my heart.

We both lost. Yet I walked away with a sense of empowerment. Knowing that I tried, that I walked in with my eyes closed, but out with them wide open. I can see who you were, but who you are is someone I am done with.

You can stay in the circle we've built. A circle you've constructed to your liking, while I was just a guest.

Let me be one to make things easier for you. Let me set you free from "obligations" you don't want to fulfill. I won't scoff any longer. I won't make excuses for you from today.

We are again where we were before. Strangers in a crowd. No knowledge of one another. Our eyes will never meet again. Our presences will not linger.

What did we have?

Nothing.

...
It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

- No Surprise, Daughtry